In recent years insults have become entirely too racial or sexually prejudiced. There are still plenty of ways to insult someone with out alienating yourself from the rest of your social community. Here are some of my personal favorites.
What ever they said about you, say the same thing about their face.
For example: If someone says that you are stupid tell them that their face is stupid.
Repeat the last three words the person said in a crappy voice.
If they tell you to do something unpleasant or irritating you tell them to do the same thing even if it makes no sense.
Tell them you don’t understand what they mean, and if they try to explain further tell them that you don’t speak English.
Ask them if they can verify an article in the local newspaper you just picked up that claims they are a piece of @%$!.
When they are not around spread a rumor that they had stomach flu and accidentally crapped their pants at work the other day.
With any luck these helpful phrases can make someone feel bad about themself or their ability to talk @#%!.
