The Living Room (needs a dining room)

More like the crummy roast beef sandwich room. Their house bread was great, but the roast beef tasted like it was straight out of the Ralphs deli. Next time I'll check out the breakfast.
I have eaten outside over there before, but last week I ate inside in their freaky living room dining room space. I felt a little uncomfortable eating there on a Saturday afternoon because everyone was studying around us. Carrie kept complaining because I was speaking too quietly. I was afraid to speak louder because I kept getting the dirty eyeball from everyone studying around us whenever I said anything.
Everything is all retro and cool, but it's too close in there. I don't care if I'm sitting at a vintage wooden table if I have to get dirty looks from a foot away because I'm distracting someone from their laptop stuff. People need more space because we hate being near eachother.

Why do the big foam gliders have to be so crappy?

Air Hogs is one of many companies that makes this horrible toy. Me and some kids were out on an empty field throwing this piece of crap back and forth and it was just as lame as I always remembered it. I went through all the same stages that I can recollect from childhood. First I looked at the giant aircraft thinking about how badass it was going to be when I got a chance to fly it. Then I went through the traditional dissapointment of opening the bag to see a few chipped off pieces and a melted part of one wing caused by sun exposure. After that it was anticipation, as I wondered how awesome this thing would look in the air. And when the moment to fly her came I was brought back to sad reality as the plane had a lackluster flight followed by a heartbreaking crash where the wings popped off like they were hardly attached to anything. And about 15-20 flights later the wings slipped off before the thing even hit the ground.

Why can't these planes last for more than one freaking afternoon? Aren't things made out of styrafoam supposed to last forever?

You can keep your farm raised beef

Whenever I look at menu and see that my burger is made out of farm raised beef I'm like, here we go with all the bourgoise bullcrap. I don't care if it was raised on a farm, I just care if it has bacon on it. I also don't give a @#$! if my eggs are farm fresh either, I just want to know if they come with a side of bacon with them. And speaking of bacon, I don't give two @#$!'s how this lttle piggy lived his life, as long as he ends up crispy (but not burnt) on my plate. And who can verify the farm freshness of these guys anyway? Couldn't they go get the stuff from a store, rub a little dirt on it, show up in the kitchen and be like "Hey, here it is fresh from the farm!"
Next thing you know there will be farm fresh slim jims at 7-11 and farm fresh beers at the liquor store.
All these fancy pants places with their farm fresh crap are whatever.