Saturday, August 6, 2011

Enough with the pictures of your lousey food on Facebook

Why is it that every time some jerk makes a hot meal they have to put a picture of it up on Facebook?
It's so lame. Instead of just eating the stupid thing they have to turn it into a conversation piece. Is it so they won't seem so sad eating it alone on a Saturday night? And what makes it worse is all the stupid commentary that I read under the picture. People are liking it and say dumb crap like "Oooooh, I'm jealous." Just eat your stupid spaghetti or your sushi or whatever without sharing it. Maybe after you are done eating you could do something with you boring life and take a picture of that instead. Or better yet, the next time you decide to take a picture of your lunch and post it you should go ahead and take it to the next level. Wait about two hours after your meal and take a picture of the dump you just dropped in the toilet. You can put it on your wall and all your friends can be like, "Oh yeah, that turd looks soooo great, I wish I could take dumps like that."

Monday, August 1, 2011

Your Face!

Sometimes when I see someone and look at their face , I don’t like it. It’s not because they are ugly or because I am a racist, it’s just because I hate his/her face. Sometimes it is an expression that makes them look like they are shadey. Or it could be a way they are smiling that makes them look like a complete a-hole. Other times I see a person talking and imagine how awful it would be for me to to be talking to them.
What is more interesting is that my penchant for hating a person’s face has proven to be an accurate indicator of their crapulence.
I remember seeing this woman at a public event. She was normal, nothing was wong with her, she even had a smile on her face. But when I looked at her I just got this gut feeling that she kind of sucked. Months later a friend of mine introduced me to this very same person whose face I had disliked. I said hello and got away from her as soon as possible. I never told my friend about it because I couldn’t come up with a good way to explain it. Months later my friend told me that the person whose face I couldn’t stand turned out to be a a real jerkweed.
I remember another scenario where a friend of mine introduced me to a relative of his. I hated this person’s face too, but I definitely wasn’t going to tell my friend about it. It turned out later that his relative was totally a piece of !@#$.